


What is Love? (Baby Don't Hurt Me)

by QQI25



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Queer Themes, Questioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21920734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QQI25/pseuds/QQI25
Summary: Wren thinks they have a dilemma and the dilemma is this: they might be in love with their best friends Finch and Juniper? To elaborate: they might be in romantic love with their best friends Finch and Juniper whom they’ve known since forever but they can’t say for sure because they’re not sure they understand romantic love.
Relationships: Wren and Finch, Wren and Finch and Juniper, Wren and Juniper
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	What is Love? (Baby Don't Hurt Me)

**Author's Note:**

> the title's from Haddaway's "What is Love"! a classic song

Wren thinks they have a dilemma and the dilemma is this: they might be in love with their best friends Finch and Juniper? To elaborate: they might be in romantic love with their best friends Finch and Juniper whom they’ve known since forever but they can’t say for sure because they’re not sure they understand romantic love. They lay in bed having a crisis. At least the ceiling’s always pretty to look at. Their parents had painted it a navy blue, and then painted stars and a moon on afterwards. There’s some glow in the dark stars thrown in the mix as well. After minutes of getting lost in the stars, they finally decide they’ll just ask other people how romantic love feels. 

They ask their parents first. As still-together parents, they’re probably good at explaining love. They decide to ask while dinner is being prepared. Their mom and dad are working together, a team, to make fettuccine alfredo. It’s one of their favourites. But their parents are just so together, and in the zone, and they don’t wanna distract from that. Instead, they get busy setting the table and maybe spend a little more time than usual focusing on the particulars. Though their family is small, there’s enough seats for six people, because of how often they have people over, whether that’s Finch and Jupiter, or close family friends. In fact, the table was made by a close family friend, and it’s obvious the love and time that was put into it. When it’s just the three of them eating, their parents sit next to each other and they sit at the head. 

Then they decide to ask while eating. But everyone’s all focused on the food, and so they decide they’ll at least rehearse it in their head. What is love? but then that makes them think of the Haddaway song, which makes them have to stifle a giggle, so that won’t do.

“How was school today, dear?” their dad asks, looking at their mom. Fuck. There goes their opportunity. Their mom’s a college chemistry professor on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and a tutor on Tuesdays and Thursdays. A damn good one at that, one that cares about her students. 

“We had a lot of fun today. One of my kids gave me their trick to a concept that’s been giving people trouble, so I’ve got a new tool in my belt.”

“That’s good to hear,” their dad responds warmly. “And for you, Wren?”

“It was good. We had a sub today in math so instead of doing boring shit, our sub told us stories. She was kind of old and I guess had travelled a lot, so she had a lot of cool stories. Like she used to live in an Earthship, which she told us all about. It’s a very green house made out of reused or recycled materials or whatever, and you get to help build others. I wanna live in one now. With Finch and Junie, of course. I can’t figure out why she’d wanna leave.”

“Oh wow, that sounds amazing,” their mom says. “Do you have to live in a certain place to have or make one?”

“I mean, the one she lived at and where it was created is New Mexico, so maybe? I dunno.” Their dad nods thoughtfully. Double fuck. They’ve been led astray! Oh, and everyone’s finishing up. Triple fuck! 

“I can take your bowls.”

“Why thank you, Mx. Wren.” 

“Why you’re welcome, Mrs. Mom.” Their mom laughs, and it’s such a pleasant laugh. They gather everyone’s bowls and put them in the sink.

“No need to wash them. I’ll do that later,” their dad says. So they head back to the table. It’s now or never. They take a deep breath in and let it out.

“How do you know when you like someone? How did you guys know?” Their mom perks up, a gleam in her eye.

“Oh? Is Wren in _love_?” 

“No,” they say hastily. “No this is for a friend.” 

“A friend that is not Finch or June?” their dad clarifies.

“Yeah . . . A friend that I met at a club meeting.” Their mom laughs, and they take their previous statement back. It is not a pleasant laugh; it is evil. They are drowning and their mom is dangling a life ring just out of reach.

“Hmm well it’s just a feeling. You look at them and you just know. You could say there’s a chemistry between you,” their mom says. Their parents laugh, then look each other in the eye and smile. They make a face that their parents don’t notice because they’re too busy being mushy.

“Disgusting. Bye!” They get up and leave before their parents can do anything grosser, like kiss.

“Ask Finch or June!” their mom calls up the stairs. They do not ask Finch or Juniper. They can do this on their own ~~and with their parents and whoever else they need to ask besides Finch and Juniper~~. 

That talk gets them nowhere. What does the “feeling” feel like? Probably they don’t qualify because they don’t already just _know_. But they’re not gonna give up yet. They decide to ask a cousin next, or, well, the opportunity falls into their lap at their monthly family dinner. Jack’s been with his girlfriend for two years now; he should have some grasp on romantic love.

“Hey Jack? How did you know you liked Alyssa?” They’re chilling on the couch at their grandpa’s house, waiting for dinner to be ready and the rest of their family to come.

“You got a crush, Wren? ‘S it Finch or June?”

“No. I’m just asking. For a friend. A friend that isn’t Finch or Juniper that’s in a club with me.” Jack laughs, but humors them.

“I wanted to get to know her, spend all my time with her. Spending time with her makes me happy and calm.” They sit there, considering. That tracks. They want to spend all their time with Finch and Juniper, and (because?) spending time with the two of them makes them happy and calm.

“Dinner!” one of the adults calls from the kitchen/dining room. 

“Hey, for what it’s worth, I hope you figure it out,” Jack says as he gets up, lightly tapping their knee. They smile up at him.

“Thanks.”

The world seems to like them; it keeps presenting them with opportunities. Exhibit A: asking Jack. Exhibit B: their English teacher has just started a poetry unit. That would be a good time to bring up love, right? 

They walk into class today and their teacher is setting up a movie. Huh. She catches Wren staring and smiles.

“I think you’ll like this one, Wren. It encourages creativity.”

Well, they think on the second day when the movie’s done. It _did_ encourage creativity. It also . . . didn’t, in a way? It leaves them feeling empty, like they experienced a loss. 

“Ms. Wood,” they say when class is done and everyone’s packing up. They usually linger, anyway. “Why would you show us this?” Ms. Wood laughs.

“You don’t like it?”

“No, I do, I _love_ it. But the ending! What! I’m shattered.”

“Hopefully you’ll come back to me tomorrow in one piece.” 

They go into class the next day with a question. They’d found and read the script of _Dead Poets Society_ online and there was a quote that stuck with them: what Mr. Keating had said to the class at the end of his first scene with them. At the beginning of his little monologue, he’d talked about how poetry and love (among others they can’t quite remember) are why we live. And that’s just the perfect little segue for _their_ dilemma! So they get to class early as usual and set their stuff down at their desk. It’s close enough to Ms. Wood’s that they stay in place, just leaning over a little.

“Ms. Wood, how would you describe love to someone who’s never experienced it? I’ve been thinking a lot about how Mr. Keating said poetry and love are some of the things we live for. Saying ‘it’s just a feeling’ is cheating.” A smile plays on Ms. Wood’s lips when they add that last bit. 

“Then I won’t say that. It’s hard to describe. Love is . . . seeing them smile and feeling breathless. It’s wanting to wake up to them at your side, to know all their secrets, to tell them all about your day. It’s feeling like you could look at them all day and listen to them talk all day without getting tired.”

“Do you think people could feel that way about _friends_?”

“Sure, but I think . . . you feel it more intensely with people you want to date. Keating’s sending you into a crisis, huh?” 

“I just want to be able to write good poems.”

“Not all good poems have to be about love, Wren. You find your thing and write about it, and that makes the poem a good poem.” 

“Thanks, Ms. Wood.” 

“Of course. That’s what I’m here for.” 

They consider the new information from Ms. Wood. Yeah, seeing the two of them smile is kinda like seeing the sun, blinding and beautiful. And the three of them have definitely talked about living together when they grow up, and they already tell each other pretty much all their secrets as well as more day-to-day things. And there’s definitely times when the three of them are together and Wren stays quiet just to listen to and watch them. Huh. They still don’t feel like they have enough evidence to make a conclusion, so they sit on that information and wait for another opportunity when they can gather more.

Their school’s Gay/Straight Alliance meets Thursday, incidentally, and it just so happens to be a day when Finch and Juniper can’t go. Finch has an orthodontist appointment and Juniper has theatre. 

**Da Finchi**  
sry no can do 2 GSA today guys  
got an ortho apptmt :/

**Juniper-Joe**  
nd i gots theatre u kno how it be

**Wren**  
so i’m gna be all alone today :((

**Da Finchi**  
aww wrennie don’t be like tht we’ll be there in spirit  
n there’s othr ppl we kno

**Juniper-Joe**  
i’ll wlk u 2 GSA wrennie dw

**Wren**  
unlike finch huh >:( :( 

**Da Finchi**  
we’ll be at ur house this wknd for a sleepovr anyway

**Wren**  
but i’ll miss u til then

**Da Finchi**  
aww wrennie i’ll miss u too  
nd u juniper-joe

True to her word, Juniper meets Wren at their locker to walk them to GSA. 

“Hello Wrenjamin!”

“Hello Juniper-Joe!” 

“Are you ready to embark on our journey?”

“ _More_ than ready to embark on a journey with _you_.” Juniper flips her hair over her shoulder and Wren laughs. 

“Off we shall go then!” 

They’re there sooner than Wren wants to be. Juniper’s hugging them and it’s time part. 

“Bye Wrennie. See you tomorrow,” Juniper says. 

“Bye Junie.” Juniper pats their cheek affectionately and heads off. 

And yeah, Wren’s a little sad they won’t be there today, but that’s another perfect opportunity. GSA is the most perfect place to ask a question like this! They don’t wanna propose this question to the whole group; it’d be too chaotic. Instead, they’ll ask Kyle. She might know a thing or two, as a senior and someone who’s been in more relationships. So they sit next to Kyle, who smiles. 

“Hey Wren.”

“Hey Kyle! How are you doing?”

“Pretty good. You?”

“I actually have a question. Is it okay if I ask you?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“What does romantic love feel like?”

“Mmm you want to take them out on dates, hold hands. You want to live with them in the future. Some people want to kiss.” 

“Well couldn’t you want those things with friends? I mean friends hang out and go out and do stuff together. They also could hold hands and live together.” 

“They _could_ , but . . . it just feels different. And it _means_ something different.” 

Just then, the meeting officially begins, so they aren’t able to ask why or how it feels different. Judging by the trend of what everyone else has been saying though, Kyle wouldn’t have an explanation anyway. They still don’t understand! What’s this difference everyone keeps talking about? Would it be weird to go back to all of the people they’ve asked and ask what _friendship_ feels like? Maybe that would help. Or maybe that would only make things more confusing. Is it just up to each person then? Is that a decision you make yourself of whether you like someone platonically or romantically?

After GSA’s over, their dad picks them up and takes them home. It’s just the two of them for another few hours and they head to the kitchen, Wren to grab a snack and their dad probably the same. 

“What say we do some bakin’ huh?”

“Sure,” Wren answers. “What are we making?”

“What are you in the mood for? We can make enough that Finch and June’ll have some over the weekend.”

“Can we make a crepe cake?”

“Of course. We should have the stuff. Why don’t you go get the toppings and I’ll get the crepe ingredients?” They get the toppings easily enough. Strawberries, bananas, and Nutella is a classic combination and stuff they almost always have. Their dad also gets the ingredients easily and they put everything on the island, plugging in the mixer. 

“So I don’t wanna ask Finch or Junie for advice because I think I might be in love with _them_?” Welp. That was very awkward and not at all how they wanted to start this conversation, but there’s no taking it back now. Their dad doesn’t respond, just looks at them before going back to making the batter. They take a seat at one of the island chairs. “And I haven’t gotten any closer to figuring it out.”

“I think,” their dad says carefully, “if you want help figuring it out you don’t need to be afraid asking them. They’ve known you forever, Wren. I think they might wanna help you, and it might also be easier to talk things through and try something out. If you want.”

“Wouldn’t that be weird though? If they come over tomorrow and I go hey, I might be in love with both of you?”

“What part of that seems like it’d be weird to you?”

“I don’t know, all of it?”

“You don’t _have_ to say it that way. You could just tell them you’re feeling confused about romantic versus platonic love. That’s how it happened when you talked to them about gender, right? And besides, you don’t know; one or both of them might be feeling a similar way.”

“Oh damn, Dad, you’re good at this advice shit.” Their dad chuckles. “How come you didn’t give me an answer when I asked you guys about it last week?”

“If you’ll remember, you dashed away before I could give you an answer.”

“Because you guys were being gross.” Their dad smiles at that.

“The other reason I didn’t give an answer is because I think, Wren, that it’s different for everyone. You have to figure out what the difference to you is. What the difference was for me might not be what the difference is for you. It’s like asking someone what their favourite ice cream is and then treating that like it’s fact. I mean, we both know it’s mint chocolate chip, so I guess that’s a bad example. But what I’m trying to say is that me giving you my opinion might lead you astray and confuse you, ya feel?”

“Yeah. Yeah I think you’re right. I’ve just gotten more confused as I asked more people.”

“Honestly, there’s a chance you might not figure it out at all. That’s okay too, as long as you’re okay with that.”

And at this point, they might just hafta have a “fuck it” attitude towards getting to the nitty gritty details of it all. They’ll still clue in Finch and Juniper though. As a sidenote, having a crisis is more fun when there’s the promise of crepe cake involved. 

When the crepe cake’s done, they celebrate with a slice each, and then it’s time for Wren to go up and have a more formal crisis laying on the bed. They think back to when they first became friends with Finch and Juniper. It had been all the way back in Pre-K, and they’d bonded because their names all had to do with nature. They’ve seen each other through the good and bad, sickness and health, failures and successes. They’ve seen each other at every stage in life so far. This could either go very great or very not-great. Wren’s hoping for the sake of their freakin’ sanity and wellbeing that everything will be fine between them all. It’ll _probably_ all be fine. 

They’re definitely not gonna say they might be in love with Finch and Juniper. They’re going to say . . . that they’re confused about the concept of romance. They can even say that _Dead Poets Society_ and just their poetry unit in English in general are the main reasons why they’re having this crisis in the first place. Whatever happens, happens. But also they’re really hoping it won’t be bad.

Friday in their last class, Wren kinda maybe takes their time packing up. Finch and Juniper are getting a ride with Wren’s dad since he picks them up anyway, which means they’ll be seeing them really, really soon. They’re feeling a little restless. Jittery. But they can only dawdle so long, and so they make their way to their locker. Juniper’s already there, and she’s got her night bag.

“Why Juniper-Joe, what can I do you for?” They do the combination to unlock their locker, messing up once and having to redo it.

“Why Wrenjamin, I do believe you owe me a ride. Or, well, your dad does.” They grab their backpack and then look over everything still in the locker, just to have something to do.

“I believe you’re right.” They close their locker and spot Finch. He waves with the hand not carrying his night bag and they wave back. Juniper turns around and waves too upon spotting him.

“The gang’s all here,” Finch says when he reaches them. 

“Yep. Car time.”

They all put their bags in the trunk and get in the back of the car, Wren first, Juniper last. They both turn to Finch and pat his head. 

“Baby,” they coo simultaneously. He nuzzles up into their hands. 

“Goo goo ga ga,” he says, and they laugh. “If I were baby you guys would take care of me though, right?”

“Aww no question about it, Finnie,” Juniper says, and she holds Finch’s hand and Wren holds Finch’s other. Wren then rests their head on Finch’s and Juniper on Wren’s. Perks of all being different heights. 

When they get to Wren’s house, Finch says, “Wait don’t let go; let’s try to get out while still holding hands.”

“What about our seatbelts?” Juniper asks.

“Oh yeah. Okay let’s take off our seatbelts and then hold hands while we get out.” 

“Should we go out my way or Junie’s way?” 

“Your way’s closer to the home door, Wren.” So Wren opens their door and they get out while still holding hands. It’s surprisingly not that hard. Wren’s dad laughs at their antics and opens the trunk. They all let go of each other’s hands and grab their bags.

“Wren and I have a treat for you,” Wren’s dad says. Juniper claps her hands together.

“Whoever makes it to the door last gets the smallest piece!” She declares, and she and Finch take off. They all laugh, and Wren purposely trails behind a bit. They got a piece yesterday, and besides, they know Juniper and Finch are bound to take huge slices, so it won’t be too big of a loss. 

They all go put their stuff in Wren’s room first, and their dad goes to the kitchen to get out the crepe cake. Finch and Juniper race to the kitchen and Wren follows once more at a leisurely pace, laughing softly. Their dad lets Finch and Juniper cut their own slices. 

“Strawberries, bananas, and Nutella,” their dad explains, “the superior way.” To no one’s surprise, Finch and Juniper cut themselves huge slices. Wren and their dad cut themselves more modest slices. 

“Oh shit it’s delicious!” Juniper exclaims on her first bite. “Thank you!”

“Yeah thanks!” Finch says.

“You’re welcome,” Wren’s dad says with a smile. They all finish fairly quickly and bring their plates to the sink. 

“Bye Dad,” Wren says.

“Bye. Be good!”

“We will!” Finch says as they all head up the stairs. 

They all fan out on Wren’s bed, Wren in the middle. They’ve got a big bed because you know, friends since pre-K means lots of ensuing sleepovers, and their parents figured this was easiest.

“TGIF, right?” Finch says.

“Mmm,” Juniper responds.

“Lemme just say that _Dead Poets Society_ has sent me into a crisis, my dudes. Like, what is love?”

“Baby don’t hurt me,” Finch sings. Juniper and Wren laugh.  
“Right? But like, seriously. He was talking about romance being the reason we’re alive, right? But what even _is_ romance, y’know?”

“You’re asking the wrong people, Wrennie,” Juniper says with a short laugh. “I had a crush . . . middle school? And it was a weird kind of crush, y’know? I just liked her from afar and didn’t do shit.” 

“Did you ask anyone at GSA?” Finch asks.

“I did. I asked Kyle and all she said was like . . . you wanna go on dates and hold hands and live with them in the future and some people wanna kiss them.”

“We do that though,” Juniper points out. “We hold hands.”

“And we plan to live together in the future,” Finch adds.

“Exactly!” Wren’s glad they both understand their dilemma. “And all she said when I said friends can do that is that it feels ‘different’.”

“Well shit. Now you got me wondering too,” Finch says.

“Then let’s look it up.” Juniper pulls out her phone and crawls above them to go between Finch and Wren instead. They roll onto their stomachs and make space for Juniper to fit, then scoot in close again. There’s “A list of romantic orientations” from [asexuality.org](https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations/), so Juniper clicks that. 

“Find anything that fits?” Juniper asks when they’re done reading the list of romantic orientations. Wren takes a moment to consider.

“I . . . don’t know. I’ve found a few? Maybe I’m aroflux. Maybe I switch between a few.” They roll onto their back and Finch and Juniper do the same, then reach out to take their hands. They give a light squeeze to Finch and Juniper’s hands, who squeeze back. 

“Hey, that’s okay. ‘S cool. Valid. We love you,” Finch says. They look over at Finch and smile. 

“Thanks,” they say to the ceiling. Juniper taps their hand three times. _I love you._ “Thanks guys. I love you too.” 

By the time dinner’s ready, it’s been smelling good for a while now, and they all rush down. Their dad has made pot roast tonight. Their mom’s sitting on the couch, and she raises her eyebrows at Wren and glances at Finch and Juniper. Wren shrugs and sits down next to their mom. Finch and Juniper continue into the dining room and sit down at their usual places, across from Wren’s parents. 

“Did you ask them?” their mom asks quietly.  
“Yeah, and we looked it up together. I think I might be aroflux, which means I’m somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, but it changes from time to time. Nothing concrete though.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I think I am.” 

“Then I’m okay with it.” They both get up and start walking over to the dining room.

“What would you have said if _I’d_ said I _wasn’t_ okay with it?”

“That I’d help you find something you were okay with, or at least be supportive of you while you figured it out.”

“Aww, thanks Mom.”

“Of course, kiddo.” Their mom ruffles their hair and they sit down at their seat, a smile playing on their lips and a warm feeling in their chest. They look at this table full of their most important people, the people closest to their heart, and feel okay that they don’t know or experience romantic love, because they’ve got no need for it.

**Author's Note:**

> \- hello yes am back! i just realised tht i hv more shit to post, but it's original stuff! i took an intro to poetry and prose course this past sem (i'm now a creative writing mjr! :3) nd it was fucking amazing nd now i hv more original shit. hope u like my original stuff :-)
> 
> \- this is. maybe based off my own experiences lmfao.
> 
> \- if ur questioning or u were questioning at some pt i hope this helps in some way?? ik i am maybe questioning again lol
> 
> \- also! jsyk i usually mark my fics as teen nd up just bc of the swearing??


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